Monday, December 28, 2009

HELP!! I need to Find Myself!!

Majority of my life has been driven by fear. I never thought that I would be one of those people who were fearful. In fact, it was not always this way. When I was in my early teens through my mid twenties I was fearless. Going through life as if I could conquer the world. Nothing could stop me not even the nay-sayers!!


I think my turning point happened when I was experiencing…..what the old heads call…..”Growing Pains”. If fact, I remember the day it happened. I was around 24ish and I was working in Los Angeles at my very first job. Let me tell you something about me……I have what you call a “Doll House Syndrome” meaning that I love to envision how things should go and if they don’t go as planned I get flustered. So when my life never went the direction I wanted it to go I got angry. Eventually that anger turned into fear and I ended up taking jobs in anything. I was fearful that I was never going to achieve all the things that I envisioned for myself, and on top of the fact that the real world was scary and I had no idea how to make it work.

The good thing about “winging it” like I was doing after 25, it lead me to live in Charlotte, NC and finally find a place that I could call home. However this fearful stage of my life is now over.

After giving myself a chance to “let go” after being laid-off, I started to find myself slowly. I gave myself time to heal and let go of this horrible fear that was holding me back. I had to really ask myself a lot of questions about what I liked and who I really am. I could not have done this if I did not get laid off. I needed this time to sort out my goals and find myself again.

I did find my new path and I hope that you keep following me as I walk it.

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